Not only Alice is in Wonderland
by MollyWKUK
Summary: A girl named Molly tags along with Alice to WoNdErLaNd, and Molly's not that great of a campanion. :P
1. Damn it Alice I'm drowning in your tears

Not only Alice is in Wonderland...

It was any other day when Alice was just sitting by the riverbank listening to her sister reading a boring book to her. Suddenly Alice saw a white rabbit saying something like, "I'm late! I'm late!" And Alice thought to herself, "How very queer, being the dumb girl I am, I should follow!" But Alice wasn't the only dumb girl by that river bank, oh no, there was Molly Burley, she just got back from Neverland :P (A/N: ha I write stories and put myself in them except for my Harry Potter stories, but I think it's funny I just wrote one where I'm in Neverland :P)

"Hey stupid rabbit! Slow the fook down!" that odd girl Molly was yelling for the rabbit.

"Your going to follow the white rabbit also?"

"What the hell does it look like I'm doing, Kid?"

"Well I do believe your following the white rabbit."

"Hey! Good guess! You win a cookie!" MOlly handed her a cookie, "Just don't eat it now, it may come in handy later."

"Okay, well I do believe we haven't been properlly introduced."

"Nope we sure haven't homey."

"What?"

"Nothing, my name is Molly."

"Hello, Molly, I'm Alice." Alice reached her hand out to shake Mollys but Molly just stared at her and said, "Are you kidding? I have no clue where your hands have been!"

"Alright, now let's go catch that white rabbit!"

"Yeah! Melvin! Wait!"

"You know his name?"

"No, I just made up a name for him."

"Okay that's great-"

"Look! There he goes!" Molly yelled pointing at the rabbit that just went down a hole. THey walked up to it and looked down it, "Well I sure as hell aren't going down there," exclaimed Molly. Alice was leaning over a little to far and then Molly pushed her and Alice was falling Molly yelled down to her and said, "Is it safe? Are you still breathing?"

"Come on down! It's really queer." So Molly jumped right down at first she was falling really fast and then she slowed down beside Alice. Five minutes later Molly broke the silence, "SO how long have we just been falling like this?" 

"Five minutes, and I think were finally coming to a halt."

"Look at all of the doors," murmerd Alice as she tried to open quite a few doors, "But they all seem to be locked."

"Look over there on that table! THeres a key," pointed out Molly. So she and Alice walked over to it and took the key. They tried every door and Molly said theres no other door and then Alice saw a little door behind a curtain she tried the key and it unlocked the door, "Why that's such a pretty garden," sighed Alice.

"Yeah but our only problem is that were fucking huge! There's no way in hell we can fit through that puppy."

"I really can't understand you, Molly."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Okay, well let's just think," sighed Alice as she laid the key back down on the table then she noticed a bottle that said 'Drink Me' on it. "Oh how very queer."

"Whats queer, Alice?"

"Now I know this bottle wasn't here before," pointed out Molly.

"Yes well I don't think it's very smart to dr-" But to late Molly gulped down the bottle and forced the rest down Alice's throat. "Oh dear were shrinking!"

"No shit! Way to point out the obvious! But at least we can go in that door." But when Alice and Molly shrank down to size the door was locked again and the key was left on top of the table.

"Now...well...never..nev..never get in!" sobbed Alice, she was in tears.

"Well I know what can cheer you up!"

"What?"

"A cookie! Go on and take a bite." So Alice pulled out the cookie and bit it and she began to grow! She grew so tall she hit the ceiling.

"No! Now I'll never be able to get in the garden," sobbed Alice yet again and she began crying. Since she's so big her tears were huge! And suddnley the room was flooded!

"damn..gurgle you Alice!" gurgled Molly, she was drowning in the tears. Alice began shrinking from her tears. Now they were both small standing on a notebook so they stayed afloat. Some how they had left the room and were now on an island with other washed up creatures, all cold and wet.

Stay Tuned 


	2. Does the rat speak English?

Alice and Molly were now swimming still in the tears when they see a mouse. "I wonder," started Alice, "if it would be of use if I spoke to the mouse."

"Sure, why the fuck not right? I mean we've already done a whole bunch of screwed up crap today, so might as well talk to a mouse right?" Alice wasn't paying any mind to Molly she was already speaking to the mouse, "Oh, Mouse!"

The mouse just looked at that little ugly girl wearing that annoying weird dress.

"Perhaps it doesn't speak English," sighed Alice.

"Right, that makes perfect sense, no really it does. I mean a mouse shouldn't be able to talk to us anyway's."

"No that's not what I mean, maybe it speaks French." Molly smacked her own head a said, "Why the hell did I follow you down that hole?"

"Ou est ma Chatte?" After the mouse heard that he jumped and ran away from Alice shaking in fright.

"What the hell did you say to him?" Molly asked.

"I don't know, I just said the first line out of my French book."

"Think kid! What does it mean!"

"I think I said something about a cat."

"Oh my gosh, are you stupid! Why didn't you say something else in French?"

"That's all I know how to say."

"Idiot."

Alice turned back to the mouse and yelled, "I beg your pardon, I forgot you don't like cats."

"Not like cats!" the Mouse cried sharply, "Would you like cats if you were me?"

"I suppose not," said Alice. "Please don't be angry. Though I wish I could introduce you to my cat, Dinah. I think you would change your mind about cats if you met her." Molly was standing behind the mouse now waving her arms frantically trying to shut Alice up but Alice continued.

"She's such a dear, quiet thin. She sits calmly by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face." Molly then cut in, "Okay Alice that's enough about your cat! What don't care about what he does."

"You mean what she does, and she's so soft to pet, and she's so good at catching mice-" When that poor mouse heard this he began to shake again.

"Oh, I beg your pardon yet again, we won't talk about Dinah."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" complained Molly.

"No, if you were trying to tell me something then you should have just said it."

"Please! Just don't let me hear that name again." pleaded the Mouse.

"Okay, I promise." said Alice. There was awkward silence and I guess Alice was desperate to think of something to say so she started talking about a dog, "Do you like dogs? There is such a nice, little dog I know that I'd like you to see. A little, bright-eyed terrier, with long, curly, brown hair! It fetches things when you throw them. It will also sit up and bef for it's dinner, and all sorts of other things. It belongs to a farmer, and he says that it's so useful because it kills all the rats, and-oh dear!"

"Damn it, Alice. There goes are only friend!"

"Mouse, dear, do come back again! I'm so sorry I frightened you! I promise I won't talk about cats or dogs, if you don't like them!" The Mouse turned around back to Molly and Alice.

"Man that Mouse is stupid! Why the hell did he come back?"

"I don't know, just don't scare him, Molly." said Alice, she made it sound like Molly scared the Mouse twice away.

"Let's go the shore over there," said the Mouse to Alice and Molly. As they swam there was silence so Molly whispered in the Mouse's ear, "Dinah." He jumped and swam ahead of them, Molly was laughing her ass off.

(A/N: I'm skipping the whole part where they dry off with all the other creatures, it's to boring.)

SO they got to the shore and the mouse looked at Molly and Alice and thought of the bad times with them and he ran off.

"How rude," stated Alice. But then she forgot what just happened when she saw the White Rabbit again.

"Hey look it's Melvin!" yelled Molly.

"The Duchess! Oh, my dear paws! Oh, my fur and whiskers! She'll have me executed! Where could I have put them?" asked the White Rabbit to himself.

Seeing how Alice is stupid she started looking on the ground frantically looking for whatever the Rabbit lost. The White Rabbit spotted Alice and said, "Mary Anne, what are you doing here? Run home this instant and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan!" Alice didn't even try to explain that he had her mistaken for someone else so she ran to his house looking for gloves and a fan. Molly followed her behind the trees and stayed out of view, he she didn't want to do errands for a Rabbit!

Alice soon found the house and was walking up the stairs and was saying, "How odd this is, running errands for a rabbit! I suppose Dinah will be sending me on errands next!" Alice thought of her cat sending her to fetch something then Alice shuddered at the thought.

Alice made her way to the table in a little neat room and found several pairs of gloves and a fan. Alice grabbed them and was about to leave the room when she noticed a little bottle with the label DRINK ME on it. Alice checked for a poison sign and she couldn't find one so she drank it.

"Something interesting always happens when I eat or drink something, I hope I grow large again I'm tired of being so small." Alice started growing and growing and growing when suddenly she was to big for the house! Molly who was outside talking to herself saying, "I'm getting tired of that Alice chick, I should ditch her. Actually I have a fear of being all alone...maybe I shouldn't get rid of the loser, but she keeps getting herself in odd predicaments..." Then Molly looked at the house and saw that Alice was...well sticking out of it.

"I'd rather be at home, I'm tired of growing big and small all the time. And being ordered around by mice and rabbits. I used to read fairy tales and thing of the magical things and think it would be cool if it really happened and here I am right in the middle of one! Someone should write a book about me. In fact I'll tell that Molly girl to do it." stated Molly.

The White Rabbit when up to the door and was shouting,"Mary Anne! Fetch me my gloves this instant!" The rabbit opened the door and was walking up the stairs. Alice was afraid of being scolded so she started trembling which shook the house she forgot that she was like a thousand times larger than the rabbit so the rabbit should be afraid of her. So Alice was kicking and waving her arms, and chased the rabbit with her hands so he couldn't get upstairs.

Molly was watching Alice's hand come out the window which was chasing the rabbit, "Alice you must be on something..."

"Pat, Pat! Where are you?" The White Rabbit yelled, he was looking for someone.

"Right here," answered a voice, he was standing right in front of the white rabbit.

"That idiot." said Molly.

"Come help me! There's something sticking out my window!"

"It appears to be and arm, your honor," answered back the voice.

"An arm? That size! It fills the whole window!"

"That it does..."

"Well what are we going to do about it?"

As the other animal was thinking Molly was standing close by so she coughed loudly and said, cough "Burn the house down." cough

"I know! We'll burn the house down!" answered that voice, who obviously heard Molly but he was stupid so he thought it was his idea.

"If you do then I'll set my cat on you!" yelled Alice, she didn't want to be burned!

"Damn it.." sighed Molly, that other creature, will call him pat...well Pat heard what Molly said and copied her again, "damn it." So Pat and the White Rabbit started throwing stuff in the window, they threw bread and Alice ate it and shrank and ran out the house and Molly followed, she was tired of Pat coping her so she decided to go with Alice. 


	3. CHILD ABUSE!

"So where are we going now?" Alice asked Molly.

"How the hell would I know? You act like I was born here!" objected Molly.

"Well you are very queer so sometimes it makes me think."

"Well I'm glad something does."

"Now see here I don't like being insulted..." But Alice didn't finish her sentence because what they saw was a catipillar sitting ontop a mushroom smoking away at something in it's pipe. Here comes the creepy part folks, the caterpillar saw Molly and Alice the whole time, and he just deiceded to stare at them. Then he finally spoke, "Who are you?"

"I-I hardly know, sir. I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I must have changed several times since then." sighed Alice.

"Explain yourself!" snapped the caterpillar.

"Yes, please explain yourself! I thought you were Alice! Have you been lying to me this whole time and now your telling the truth to this faggot of a caterpillar!" yelled Molly.

But Alice seemed to ignore Molly, which she does quite often so she continued talking to the caterpillar.

"Well I can't explain myself sir, because I'm not myself you see."

"No I don't see," said Molly and the caterpillar at the same time.

"Being so many different sizes in one day is so confusing," sighed Alice.

"It is not," said the caterpillar.

"Well perhaps your feelings are differ-" started Alice but Molly cut her off, "Look who cares! Alice, if that's your real name, we can't understand you, and Caterpillar...lay off the drugs, your voice is sounding a little to sleepy."

"Why! How insulting!" argued Alice, but the Caterpillar didn't really listen to what Molly said but he replied back to her anyways, "Why?"

"Why what! Why you have to lay off the drugs! Because it's bad for you, even if you are just a stupid caterpillar."

At this the caterpillar turned red so Molly whispered to Alice and said, "I think we should back away slowly.." so Molly and Alice did just that, soon the caterpillar was out of sight. Then they heard him call to them, "Wait come back! I have something very important to tell you!" So Molly and Alice came back.

"Keep your temper," it said.

"that's all you had to fucking tell us? And you say this right after you turned red with angry! Eat your own words bitch!" yelled Molly and then she stomped off into the grass.

Then the caterpillar turned to Alice and said, "What hieght would you like to be?"

"Well a bit taller I supposed, being three inches is such a horrible hight you see." The caterpillar was so offended because he was three inches," it is a very good hight!"

"Right..."

"One side will make you taller the other will make you shorter."

"One side or what?"

"The mushroom!" Then alice grabbed both sides of the mushroom and started walking off and she bumped into MOlly.

"Oh, hello again Molly."

"OH hello 'Alice' or so you say! Why don't you go hang out with your new best friend Mr. Caterpillar!"

"That was his name? I don't remember him saying that...anyway I don't like him...he says why to much."

"Oh, okay then, were straight right?"

"Well I supposed since were not crooked."

"Um...nevermind kid." Alice was just about to bit into the mushroom when Molly yelled out, "Noo! Don't eat that! That's a fucking fungus! Drop it Alice."

"Oh alright..." Alice dropped it and then Molly picked it up knowing that it would make her grow so she bit a little tiny piece of it and then she accidently dropped it and Alice picked it up and bit some to, now they are both nine inches.

"Damn it Alice, you were supposed to stay down there while I'd be up here!"

"What?"

"Nothing...Look a house! How lovly." Molly and Alice hung back as they saw a footman come running up to the house holding a letter.

"Holy shit it's a fish out of water!" yelled Molly.

"What? Oh yes..." The footman was a fish but Alice was so used to this odd world that she barly noticed. 

The footman knocked on the door and another footman this time a frog came out and the fish said, "A letter for the Duchess." As he handed over the large letter. "It's an invitation from the Queen to play croquet."

Molly leaned over and whispered to Alice, "Whats the point of the letter if the damn fish just told the frog what it said?" But Alice wasn't listening, she was to busy watching the fish and frog. "Talking to you is like talking to a damn log," sighed Molly.

Then the fish-footman left leavning the frog-footman alone by the closed door, holding the oversized envelope and staring stupidly into the sky. So Alice started walking over to the lonley frog and Molly reluctently followed. THen Alice got scared of the frog so she deicded to knock on the door instead.

"There's no use in knocking," said the frog, "Gor two reasons, first, because I am on the same side of the door you are, so I can't let you in. Second, because they are making so much noise inside, no one could possibly hear you."

They heard tons of things being thrown inside and a baby crying.

"CHILD ABUSE CHILD ABUSE!" yelled Molly for she heard a baby crying then the frog looked at her weird so Molly then said, "Um...frog abuse? Possible?.." she thought maybe it was the frog's baby crying in there.

"Please, then, how am I to get in?" asked Alice.

"Why do you want to get in his house so bad anyway, Alice?" asked Molly.

"Frog-footman?"

""There might be some sense in your knocking, if we had the door between us. If you were inside, for instance, you might knock and then I'd let you out-" But MOlly cut him off, "Okay your absolutely no help! I'll just see if the door's unlocked." Of course it was so Molly and Alice entered the house.

They room was a kitchen and it was full of smoke there was a cook cooking and the Duchess who was holding the crying baby.

"I KNEW THERE WAS CHILD ABUSE GOING ON IN HERE!" yelled Molly, then the cook and Duchess looked at her...then a moment later the cook threw a spoon right in the middle of Molly's forhead, "Okay shutting up..."

"Why, theres to much pepper in that soup!" objected Alice. The poor baby was sneezing and howling. The only two things not sneezing were the cook and a cat that was ltying on the floor, grinning from ear to ear.

"Ewe what a fugly cat!" snapped Molly.

"Would you tell me, please, why your cat grins like that?" asked Alice, she always askes the stupid questions.

"It's a Cheshire cat, that's why," said the Duchess.

"Well that's a stupid answer," sighed MOlly and then another spoon came flying right at her, "OWNCH! MOLLY ABUSE MOLLY ABUSE!" This time the cook was holding a knife so Molly shutted right up.

"I didn't know that Cheshire cats grinned, in fact I didn't know that cats could grin," replied Alice.

"they all can, and most of 'em do."

"I don't know of any that do."

"You don't know much, and that's a fact." After hearing that Molly started laughing her ass off! It looked like she was having a heart attack or something, from laughing and rollling and sneezing from the pepper. Then suddenly the cook started throwing everything in reach towards Molly.

"Oh please watch what you're doing!" Alice pleaded. Molly looked shocked that Alice would say something like this for her, but then Alice continued, "for the babies sake!" The cook stopped throwing things, partly because he had nothing left to throw. 

Some how Alice and the Duchess started talking about time and the earth and alice mentioned how the earth spins on an axis and then the duchess yelled, "Speaking of axes, OFF WITH HER HEAD!"

"Yeah! I second that motion!" yelled Molly. Alice quickly glanced at the cook but he didn't move.

"What? You'll throw everything possible at me? But you wont take orders to kill this girls from the duchess!" cried Molly, at that she was hit with a frying pan.

"Well don't mind me," said the Duchess as she handed Alice the baby, "you take him, I mut get ready to play croquest with the Queen."

"How could she have known that? The frog never sent her the message?"

"What an odd little thing," said Alice talking about the baby. "If I don't take this baby with me their sure to kill it..." After the baby heard that he started to snort and snort and then he turned into a pig!

"HOLY SHIT! I knew there was something weird about you Alice! You study black magic don't you!"

"I don't know what that is, but I say we get out of here." So Molly and Alice left the house and started walking into the woods. They saw that Cheshire cat in the trees infront of them, but Molly didn't notice it.

"Cheshire cat," began Alice timidly, talking to the cat.

"Holy shit, I didn't even see it there!"

"Which way should we go from here?" Alice asked the cat.

"That depends a good deal on where you want to go," the cat replied.

"I don't much care where..."

"Then it doesn't matter which way you go."

"Wow, he has a good point you know," said Molly.

"Well, what sort of people are around here?"

"In that direction," the cat said, waving his front right paw, "Lives the Hatter. In that direction," waving his left paw, "Lives the March Hare. You could visit either one. They're both mad. Completely insane."

"Woh that's creepy..."trailed off Molly.

"But I don't want to meet any mad people," Alice remarked.

"Oh, you can't help that, were all mad here. I'm mad your mad."

"How do you know I'm mad?"

"Because everyone can see that sweetie..."began Molly.

"You must be mad, or you wouldn't have come here, that makes that girl standing behind you mad also."

"Hey!...actually I must be mad if I'm arguing with a cat...that grins!"

"Will you be playing croquet with the Queen today?"

"I would like to very much, but I haven't been invited."

"So we weren't really invited to any of the other places we've been today so why start now?" cut in Molly.

"You'll see me there," said the cat then he vanished into thin air.

Alice and Molly started walking in the direction of the March Hare and then the cat reappeared.

"What became of the baby?"

"It turned into a pig," answered Alice.

"I thought it might." Then the cat vanished again.

"YOU GUYS AREN'T CREEPED OUT BY THAT?" yelled Molly. But they kept on walking. Then the cat reappeard, "I'm sorry, did you say fig or pig?"

"Pig, and I wish you would stop appearing and disappearing it sure makes one dizzy."

"As you wish." Then the cat dissapered bit by bit, the last part to go was his grin which stayed for quite some time.

"I've often seen a cat without a grin, but a grin without a cat? It must be the strangest thing I've ever seen in my life!"

"WHAT! I think the baby turning into the damn pig was the strangest thing I've ever seen!" yelled Molly. Soon MOlly and Alice approached a house that looked like a hare...er...rabbit.

To Be Continued... 


	4. No room, no room!

The rather large house that Molly and Alice approached had two large chimneys shaped like rabbit ears and a roof thatched with fur.

"This must be the Marh Hare's house," Alice said.

"No shit, what gave you the first clue? The ear shaped chimneys or the fur roof?" shot back Molly.

"The sign that says, The March Hare's House."

"Oh, well that too."

Molly and Alice decided to go and knock on the door when Alice said, "Suppose the March Hare is raving mad? And then I'd wish that I'd gone and seen the Hatter instead!"

"Idiot, didn't you hear what Felix said?"

"Who is the world is Felix?"

"It's that cat that grinned."

"He never told us his name."

"No, but I like naming these animals...creatures..things..."

"Okay, well no, I don't remember what the cat said."

"He said that everyone is mad here! So no matter where we go, were gonig to run into some loons."

"Oh, well I suppose there is no use in running back then."

"Nope kid, we will just go right in the Hare's house." So now they both walked up to the house and saw a table was set out under a tree in front of the rabbit-shaped house, and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea. A dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it and talking over it's head.

"That mus be uncomfortable for the Dormouse," Alice whispered to Molly.

"I'm sorry what I can't hear you! Are you talking trash about the Hatter and the Hare?" Molly screamed, but she perfectly knew that Alice said no such thing. But the Hare and Hatter heard Molly and stared hard at Alice.

"Why I-"

"I know that you said the Hatter looked like a fag in his polk-a-dot bow tie!"

"How dare you! It was an un-birthday present!" remarked the Hatter. Alice payed no attention and went to sit down at one of the many chairs but then the Hare cried, "No room! No room!"

"Why, there's plenty of room," said Alice, she was getting annoyed with the people here, then she sat down.

"Why Alice! First talking bad about these kind people and now inviting your un-wanted self to sit down!" Molly did this "tisk tisk" movement with her fingers, then sat down herself.

"Have some juice." the March Hare offered to Alice.

"Hey I'm the nice one!" cried Molly, but Hatter and Hare payed no mind to Molly, they seemed to like Alice, "I guess being rude works in this world," Molly sighed.

Alice looked around the table, but saw no juice, only tea. "I don't see any juice."

"That's because there isn't any, there's only tea," replied the Hatter.

"HA HA! See they do like me better!" laughed Molly.

"Then it wasn't very polite of you to offer it," Alice barked at them.

"It wasn't very polite of you to sit down without being invited," the Hare snapped back.

"Yeah! You tell him Hairy!" cried Molly. The Hare looked at Molly like he was going to kill her and she softly said, "Um...sorry...March Hare..." Then she added, "But hey! You just said what I said a minute ago! About how she was inviting herself"  
The Hare payed no attention to this remark.

Molly felt like someone was staring at her, so she turned around slowly and saw the Hatter's mad eyes staring at her and then he said, "Your hair needs to be cut."

"You shouldn't make such personal remarks," Alice said, "It's very rude."

"This coming from the girl who invited herself to sit at our table," said the Hare.

"Oh my god! Can we drop that? It was soooo five minutes ago!" sighed Molly as she slumped on her elbows from boredom.

The hatter's eyes grew wide and he said, "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

"Well, I guess we'll have some fun now! I love riddles," Alice cried.

"It just sound like a load of bull shit to me," came Molly's muffled voice for she was face down on the table trying to go to sleep.

"I believe I can guess that," stated Alice, still thinking.

"Do you mean that you think you can come up with the answer to it?" asked the March Hare.

"Exactly so," replied Alice.

"Then you should say what you mean," said the March Hare.

"I do," Alice said back, "At least, I mean what I say-and that's the same thing."

"It's not at all the same thing!" the Hatter cried, "Why, you might as well say that 'I see what I eat' is the same thing as 'I eat what I see.' "

"You might as well say," added the March Hare, "that 'I like what I get' is the same thing as 'I get what I like!' "

"You might as well say," the Dormouse chimed in, "that 'I breath when I sleep' is the same thing as 'I sleep when I breath!' "

"It is the same thing with you," said the Hatter.

"Oh Oh! I got one! You might as well say 'I jump on my foot' is the same thing as 'I foot on my jump'..." peeped up Molly as they all stared at her like she gave a stupid example, "Sorry it was the first thing that came to mind!"

"What day of the month is it?" the Hatter asked as he took his watch out of his pocket.

"The fourth," Alice stated.

"Two days wrong!" sighed the hatter. Then he dipped his watch into his tea.

Molly leaned over towards Alice and whispered, "These fools are crazy! Lets get out of here!" But Alice wasn't ready to go, Molly took a nap while the Hatter, Hare, and Alice had a discussion about "Time" and how Alice had never met him. And how the Hare and Hatter made "Time" mad so it's tea time all the time. Molly woke up with the Hare was jumping up and down and screaming, "I vote that Alice tell's us a story! TELL US A STORY!"

"I'm afraid I don't know one," Alice replied.

"Then the Dormouse shall tell us one!"

"No! Alice let's get the hell--I mean...I beg your pardon, Hatter, Hare, and Dormouse, but me and Alice have a meeting with the queen, and we must go play a game with her." But they weren't listening, they were to busy running and switching chairs and singing the "very merry un-birthday song."

So Alice and Molly ventured into the forest yet again when they stoped to take a breath.

"Man this fucking forest is huge!" cried Molly, out of breath.

"Yes I suppose so-" But Alice stopped as she stared at a tree that turned into a door. Alice and Molly looked in the tree and saw what the room was.

"Oh hell no! I'm not going back in there again! It's that room with all those doors that are locked and the big glass table! Last time you nearly drowned us!" yelled Molly.

"This time we know what to do." So Molly and Alice walked back where they started. 


	5. Queen of white to red roses land!

Alice and Molly were tall enough to reach the key on the glass table so they took it off the table.

"Okay so how are we going to fit in the tiny ass door over there?" questioned Molly. Instead of answering Molly Alice just pulled out some food and bit half and gave the rest to Molly.

"Eew! I don't want some nasty mushroom that you bit off of! Hell, I wouldn't even want a mushroom to eat!" But Molly saw that Alice was shrinking so Molly quickly ate her mushroom and began shrinking down to the door size also.

"So do you have the key?" asked Alice, as she turned to face Molly.

Molly's eyes grew wide and said, "No! And you can think twice if I have to go through all that drowning again!"

Alice started laughing and pulled the key out of her white apron like shirt pocket.

"Why you little bitch! Who knew you were one for joking?"

So Molly yanked the key from Alice's hands and opened the door. Inside was the most beautiful garden with bright flower beds and cool fountains. A large rose tree stood near the entrance to the garden. THe roses growing on it were white, but three gardeners were busily painting them red. Molly turned to Alice and whispered, "Now you know those...cards! Are they cards? Well anyway's you know those..cards..are on crack."

But Alice payed no mind to Molly, as usual, and went up to the cards and was listening to them speak.

"Look out, Five! Don't go splashing paint on me like that!"

"I couldn't help it," said five, "Seven bumbed my elbow."

"That's right Five. Always blame others!"

"You'd beter not talk," responded Five, "I heard the Queen say only yesterday that you deserved to be beheaded!"

"What for?"

"That's none of your business!"

Molly walked closer to Alice and started talking about their conversation, "Okay so now I've grown a bit sorry for Seven, he seems to be the one who gets in trouble. And isn't it his business as to why he's going to be beheaded? And Two just kind-of stays to himself, and well I don't really like Five. So how about you Alice?"

"Gosh, Molly, you make it sound like were reading a book and your picking out your favorite characters." The Cards saw Molly and Alice and they bowed low and hid the paint behind them.

"Would you please tell me why you are painting those roses red?"

"Are you...a spy for the Queen?" asked Seven.

"No, were just Rusian spys...not the Queens," joked Molly.

"Okay, well this is supposed to be a red rose bush, but we planted white ones by mistake. ANd if the Queen finds out she'l behead us all!"

"Thats it I'm out of here then!" said Molly as she began to walk away but Alice stopped her.

"I think we should help them paint! I don't want anyone's heads coming off!"

"Well then you help, but I'll be laughing when they have your head on a stick in their art gallery!...actually I would probable throw up..but that's besides the point!"

Molly sat down as she watched Two, Seven, Five, and Alice all paint the bush as they kept saying, "Were painting the roses red, were painting the roses red!" Molly soon made a song out of this.

"Were painting the roses red! We painting the roses red! If we don't then the Queen will have our heads! You'll see us in the gallery but will all be dead!" Suddenly you heard someone yelling, "The Queen! The Queen!"

The three gardnered threw themselves falt on their faces as a whole bunch of cards, the white rabbit, and the Queen came by.

The Queen turned to Alice and Molly and asked, "What is your name?"

"Alice,"

"Molly," said Alice and Molly and the same time.

"One at a time! One at a time!"

"My name is Alice," said Molly.

"And my name is Molly," Said Alice. Molly started laughing and then Alice said, "Oh wait my name is Alice and this is Molly."

"IMPOSTER! I am no Molly! I am Queen Alice, Queen of the white to red roses." At this the three cards turned even paler than their white spots on their bodies.

"No she's not! She's Molly and there is no Queen of the white to red roses!" objected Alice.

"Oh, and how could you know? You've never been outside of, 'the Queen of Hearts is a helpless git' land. Where your the Queen!"

At this the Queen of Hearts turned red and yelled, "OFF WITH HER HEAD!" A card came running by and said, "Which one?"

"Molly!...er...Alice!...er...the RULER OF THE QUEEN OF HEARTS IS A HELPLESS GIT LAND!"

"That would be her," Molly pointed to Alice.

"No, you've got it all wrong! I'm-"

"Oh A...Molly, are you calling the Queen of Hearts stupid now?"

"Why no, of course not! But I-"

"Well then shut-up and lets proceed with the statement, "Off with her head!""

"Yes lets..." started the Queen but then card Two caught her eye, he had red spots on him.

"Number Two, tell me why your all red."

Card Two started to tremble and he returned to his white stage, "I uh uh uh uh uh-"

"SILENCE! No tell me directly what you mean by 'uh'"

"Well...See number Seven planted the wrong trees and now he made me paint the white roses red!"

"It's not true! DOn't listen to number two! He lies it was all Five's idea!"

"NO it wasn't my idea! IT was Seven's fault but number Two made us all do it!"

"No they both lie! It was-"

"SILENCE! Young girl, er...Queen of white roses to red, tell me what happend."

"Well It was all three of their faults and they even wrote a song about it! IT goes like this, Were painting the roses red, or the Queen will have our heads, then we'll be put in a art gallery but we will all be dead."

"It was all Queen of the white to red roses fault!" piped up Alice.

"Excuse me!" Yelled Molly.

"Yes it was, which is why she is Queen of the WHITE to RED ROSES! She told them to paint the white roses to red! So she is calling your garden her kingdom!"

"Why you little devil! OFF WITH HER HEAD!"

"With who's head?" asked MOlly.

"WHy yours!"

"ANd what's my name?"

"ALICE!"

"Very well, off with Alice's head, but my name is Felix," said Molly, for she saw the Cheshire cat in the crowds.

"Righ...What?" asked the Queen.

"Yes, I'm Queen Felix of I Shall Never Be Beheaded land! And that's Molly Alice, she is ruler of both bad lands."

"Oh...well yes well that does make a load of sense...and I can't behead a Queen from can't be beheaded land!"

"Yes, why no you can't, so off with Molly Alice's head?"

"Yes, OFF WITH HER HEA-" But the Queens husband cut her off, "My dear, can't we just let her live? I mean she only is just a child."

"Very well ON WITH HER HEAD!" 

"What! That's crazy talk!"

"OFF WITH FELIX'S HEAD!"

"Okay I'm sorry your majesty!"

"NEVERMIND!"

"Why dear Molly Alice and Felix, have you ever played croquet?" MOlly and Alice...or Molly Alice and Felix gave each other uneasy glances, and they instantly forgave each other for trying to kill one another. They thought they might need each other's help to survive the Queens game. 


	6. MollyALice and Felix

Alice and Molly were fallowing the Queen when they heard a little timid voice, "IT's-it's a very fine day!" Molly and Alice looked down to find the White Rabbit, Melvin. "Yes, very," agreed Alice, "Where is the Duchess?"

"Hush! Hush! said the White Rabbit in a low, hurried tone, looking anxiously over his shoulder.

"What the fook is your problem, Melvin, my home dawg?"

"A-ba-uh...What?"

"What be your problem? You can't understand me fool!"

"QUIET BACK THERE!" Screamed the Queen.

The White Rabbit quietly and slowly said, "The Duchess is under sentence of execution."

"What for?" asked Alice.

"Did you say, 'What a pity'?" asked the White Rabbit.

"What? How the hell did you get, 'What a pity' out of 'What for?'" objected Molly. The White Rabbit wasn't listeing to Molly and he waited for Alice's replie.

"No, I didn't, I said what for?"

"SHe boxed the Queen's ears," the White Rabbit whispered.

"And you complain that you can't understand me? Well what is it that your saying?" complained Molly.

The Rabbit gave Molly an evil glare and then finished what he was saying, "The Queen will hear you! You see, the Duchess arrived rather late, and the Queen said-" The Rabbit was interrupted by the Queen, who tundered, "Get to your places at once!" People bagan running in all directions. THen they all got situated, except Molly and Alice didn't know where to stand or what to do so they just stood there.

"What a curious croquet field," whispered Alice to Molly.

Molly was looking down at her nails trying to even them out, not paying any mind to the queer croquet field, "OH really," was her replie, "how so?"

"Well maybe if you looked up you would notice that the croquet balls are live hedgehogs and that the mallets are life flamingoes and the arch metal things are the cards!"

"Oh really? I hadn't noticed."

"I already know that you-" But will never know what Alice was going to call Molly because then the Queen interupted them.

"Felix! Alice-Molly, why are you two just standing there?" barked the Queen.

"Well you see miss, we didn't know where to stand," came Alice's answer.

"Well grab a mallet and get to croquet! We are all Queens here so we can be civil to."

"Ha ha, yeah right, there's no way in hell you can be civil," screamed Molly, forgeting she can't talk that way to the Queen.

"Ecuse me? What did you say Queen of Can't Be Behead Land?"

"What? I didn't say anything it was Molly-Alice who said it. I'm awfully sorry."

"OFF WITH HER HEAD!"

"My dear...we haven't even had the chance to play croquet with her, let the child live," piped up her husband.

"Yes, LET HER LIVE!" barked the Queen.

"You know, "king" I'm getting tired of you," sighed Molly.

"Well I'm sorry..."

They started playing croquet and they had the WORST time. Then it was the Queens turn and the Chesire cat appeard on her back.

"Hey look it's Felix!" squeled Molly to Alice.

"How are you getting along?" asked the cat, more to Alice than Molly.

"THey don't play at all faily, they argure way to much here. THey sure don't have any rules."

"How do you like the Queen?"

"Not at all she's so very-" but then Alice saw the Queen was listening so she said, "so very likely to win that it's hardly worthwhile finisheing the game!" The Queen smiled and walked on.

"Oh nice save," whispered Molly.

"QUEEN! I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!" yelled MOlly

"Molly! What are you doing?"

"I dunno."

"Yes, you had to tell me something?"

"Yeah, me and Molly-ALice here really aren't Queens, and my name's Molly not Felix and her's is just ALice. We've been lying to you this WHOLE TIME!":

"OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!" The cards started chasing MOlly and Alice so they ran and ran and ran until they ran out of a tree and into a new world. 

"Where are we?" asked Alice.

"I think...I think were back home!" cried Molly.

"Oh...well I'm going to miss the Hatter and the Hare..."

"I'm going to miss Felix and Melivn..." They Molly and Alice walked home and were questioning themselves on wether they are sane or not...

THE END! 


End file.
